Tuesday, January 6, 2015

I'm Not Bored, My Face Just Looks Like This

Dear Left But Not Forgotten Blog:

I am sorry that I have ignored you for so long.  It was me...not you. I want to start reciting song lyrics to you to show you that I'll never take you for granted again but we know that I'd be lying.  I'm fickle and callous and get bored easily...but I swear I won't neglect you again...at least for the next 30 minutes. By gones? MUAH!

Love Your Fair Weather Friend:


Now that we've gotten that out of the way, HEY! How the hell are ya?! Long time no post and read. What's brought me back is jealousy. JEALOUSY. My coworker today was all like, 'I totally started going to a creative writing class at our local bookstore. Didn't you used to have a blog? You should come with me!' Which caused me to have flashes of 'My Girl' where I'm suddenly Vada Sultenfus  (the spelling will catch on) standing in front of a class of older people who listen to my angsty poems and smile and say things like, 'Good job!' and 'You're going to be so awesome when you grow up!'. But Vada is 31 and awkwardly bitter in this scenario and missing her Thomas Jay so I decided to create a new blog post. Yay for the internet...

People who make resolutions kind of make me uncomfortable. Uncomfortable because you have to be really supportive at the beginning of the year that they're going to read 30 books in 30 days and when that time comes and goes and they've only read 5 pages of one book you have to pretend like you completely forgot that they wanted you to cheer them on and encourage them in their endeavors but you remembered that Netflix just added Gilmore Girls AND Friends so it's basically your fault they failed and now they're ruined until next year. WAY. TO. GO. With that being said, my resolution this year is to actually do the hobbies I tried to have 5 years ago.  If I don't follow through well then...thanks a lot skanks.

It has come to my attention that if you're past the age of 30 and don't have a skill that could easily translate to an Etsy store, you're basically not living up to the 80 year old lady that you aspire to be. Say what you will, but I believe there is some merit in knowing all the words to all the Ed Sheeran songs and stocking up on craft glitter for homemade cards that are made once every 2 years. But if reading has taught me anything, the boys won't come around until I can do something they talk about accomplished women doing in 'Little Women' and/or 'Pride and Prejudice'.


 Knitting was once an aspiration.  I have the yarn, book, knitting needles...but when it came to actually trying to teach myself how to knit, everything becomes airborne. As in, I throw the items across the room after 45 minutes. Were there local classes? Yes. Free classes would come up at my local library but they were always canceled 2 days before for lack of interest in sign up.  There was once a yarn store in a town close by that would offer free help with your knitting problems but they were always closed on Mondays (the one day I could go) and I believe they have since closed their doors. ENTER KATIE, (cue the harp music) my creative writing coworker that knows how to knit.  She has agreed to be my knitting guru/drill sergeant. This Saturday we will start...hopefully this blog will soon be plastered with pictures of all the cup cozies and dog sweaters. Or maybe just some fancy pot holders...

Wish me luck! And until next time...